Utah... Screw You

As some (or many) of you may have heard by now, Dana is now sitting in jail in the exceptionally conservative state of Utah. This is not a joke as we have been accused of, she's really sitting in a cell as I type this. The reason being as follows: The story goes that she was arrested for theft when she was still in her teens and lived in Utah, and she was put on probation. She was given a list of things to do while on probation, including drug treatment, and graduating high school which she has done over the years. The only thing she did that was an issue while on probation is leave Utah. She did this to get away from the scene that got her into this situation in the first place, so she could meet with the aforementioned terms of her probation. Since then, she has been clean, and has not been arrested once.

So last week, Dana bought plane tickets, and flew down there of her own free will to get this taken care of so it wouldn't be an issue for travel, or our touring in the future. She faced the judge on Thursday, who decided she needed to sit in jail while he takes a week to read her file (they sure do read slow in Utah), and she would have her next hearing this Thursday. What we DO know, is that she is looking at a possible 6 months of further detainment.

Way to go Utah, you're really getting the message through to Dana. I'm sure she will never steal anything from your wonderful citizens again... oh wait... she hasn't done that in OVER 10 YEARS!! In actuality, Dana isn't the only one being punished (though she's obviously getting the worst of it). In truth  we're all suffering. Marty is in a state of limbo not knowing when his wife will be home, Mike is without his best friend for a time  to be determined by some dipshit Mormon who managed to get elected judge, Dana's family is without her for the time being, all her charity work is on standstill, and Wisconsin Beef Commission is possibly down to a 2-piece for Mormon knows how long right as our new album is being released. The only ones of all these people that are being punished that have ever even been to Utah are Mike and Dana. Nice job assholes!!